November 23 (Tuesday): Sex On Trial. Dream: an employer turns me down for a job because of a/the bad reference that BS gives me.

I wake up early again, around 6.30, maybe earlier. I make attempts at re-entry into sleep but all fails. Eventually I give in and get up. I check my PC and discover the download of Henry Fool that I had started watching. I crack it open and begin watching. This movie blows my mind, Henry Fool is the cool guy (the Devil) from The Book Of Life. And then the other main character’s name turns out to be Simon Grim. Grim is close to Gram, is that a sign?

I nip out first thing to do the newspaper, timed before 9AM in order to avoid having to speak to my groundskeeper. When I get back, I MSN with Sara some more and finish watching the movie (Henry Fool is SO good) before hitting the books at 10Am.

Study is hard going, on audit I remain ok but tax is a complete disaster. The only real revision you can do for this subject is question practise but there is absolutely nowhere within the confines of my flat that I can sit down and do any questions. By the end of my study today, I am 8% into Audit, 3% into Tax and overall I am 4% of the way through my studies, somewhat currently falling rather short of the 50% pass requirement.

Around midday, Sara re-emerges on MSN by which time I am now suffering like fuck from the worst of headaches and I am stressing out beyond belief.

I actually wind up spending the remainder of the afternoon on MSN talking to Sara, basically until she falls asleep at her keyboard out there in Australia. At one point we are naming our kids, these really are things that we should not be discussing (especially when the stupid cow wants to call the girl “Poppy”. What a stupid fucking name).

By five she is gone (“I leave you to study”). By now I’m beyond studying, especially when the Simpsons comes on. Around this point/time, Stevo phones me up on my mobile. He’s checking in and asking me if I want to go to see Colchester United tonight. Tonight Colchester are playing Mansfield in their FA Cup First Round replay match. Feeling out of sorts and penniless I have to decline Steve’s offer but it is really great to hear from someone (anyone). Eventually I really regret not going to game as Colchester win 4-1.

Dad comes on MSN for a bit in the early evening and I tell him how mum pissed me off last night on the phone will all her negativity and general grumpiness. He tells me that she is worried and stressed out, not least because the house is now not going smoothly. I’ve said it before but I think they’re making a mistake selling up their house in Holland and moving to Colchester. It does go some way to easing ill feelings to mum however but she still really needs to exercise a bit of tact with me right now.

Beyond that, I watch some of the Man Utd v Lyon game on TV before having a bath and a shave in preparation for tomorrow’s hot date at the job centre. Once I find myself sparkling/glistening again, I watch some of the David Baddiel TV show where he traces his family tree (unsurprisingly in his case, a bunch of Jews) and then the latest episode in this car crash series of Teachers which only seems to get worse and sends me to sleep earlier each week.

np: Arab Strap - Driving