January 3 (Bank Holiday Monday): Blues For A T-Shirt. Woke up this morning, I have to laugh. Today is a good day; it represents my first good night’s sleep on a sofa in an eternity. I awaken enthused about things (life) for the first time in 2005. Outside the skies are blue and I have plenty on my mind to match those colours, dare I say I am almost excited about today’s prospects. I think today is going to be productive.

The plan for today is to get writing done but there is the obstacle of the Rocky And Bullwinkle movie on TV this morning, which wrongly I rate. However, I eventually opt out of it, continuing to bash out on the computer.

Soon the morning has gone and lunchtime arrives and with it a cooked meal from Mum (I never cook at home; it only gives birth to washing up). At the same as this, West Side Story comes on Channel Four and I feel the TV is mocking me. I sit and watch a little of it but today feels like time is of the essence so I return to my parents PC and continue working on that.

I find myself continuing to wade through old Gringo items (news stories in the music press etc) and it’s a gas gas gas.

Today is a full line-up of games and Millwall are at home to Rotherham. I was originally intended to go along but with money now becoming very tight (instead of slightly tight) I have chosen not to. As I’ve probably said before, Rotherham are a slight bogey team and whenever Millwall have to play them I feel apprehensive (that 6-0 game will never leave the memory I think). Today’s game sees a disjointed disrupted line-up yet again with even Braniff back in the team (with Hayles and Dichio missing). Things look though when it comes over the BBC that Alan Dunne (now apparently a winger) scores to give Millwall the lead and I immediately regret not going. Rotherham however equalise just before half time. The second half doesn’t go much better when it is reported that Dennis Wise limps off with an injury and then the sadly inevitable happens when Rotherham score a second which ultimately proves to be the winner (2-1).

Late afternoon and my phone beeps and it is Phoebe wishing me a happy new year and giving me a movie recommendation for tonight (The Astronaut’s Wife, anybody?).

I stay at my parents for dinner but then I promptly fly home shortly afterwards. Tonight Bend It Like Beckham is on TV and I watch some of it (inbetween discovering the disc of work I did around my parents hasn’t burned). I seem to remember this movie being good last summer but now it just comes over as tainted, clichéd and cheesy. A real sack of……

Mark should have got back from Tokyo yesterday and with (I hope) enough sleep in him to clear the jet lag I phone him up. Its great to hear him again and he sounds really relieved to back in the country and a bit down to have missed in Christmas (they don’t do Christmas in Japan you know, ho ho). He sounds like he is really beating himself up over his job and feels a slight failure. Man, what does that make me then? He still sounds chocka with the aftermath of the job though, still with work (a report/presentation) to do so I’m not sure when will be hanging out and indulging in unemployment.

While I am on the phone to Mark, Sara comes online and wants to talk. I explain to her that I am on the phone after she whinges that I am ignoring her. I do however keep telling her I am still on the phone, long after I get done with Mark, enjoying keeping her hanging on the teleMSNphone (or something).

By nine I am done for the day and the Unseen Eric Morecombe comes on TV. I watch some of it but it doesn’t really register with me. When I was at school, the beards would tell you how Morecombe and Wise were geniuses just because really Vic Reeves had said so once (this is back in 1992 remember). Racton comes on MSN, so I end up speaking to him instead.

Today is officially the last day of the holidays and boy have the TV stations put up a great late night line-up for tonight: Spinal Tap, Barb Wire and Twelve Angry Man, with perhaps a taste of Carry On Convenience. Late nights then late mornings, possibly the only real benefit/bonus of unemployment.

I wind up watching bits of all the films and begin to wonder the worth of rewatching movies I have already seen before. I probably fall asleep watching Barb Wire to reawaken for most of Twelve Angry Men, which tonight I really am not in the mood for but I check out (and manage to enjoy) regardless. Beyond that though, it is hell as I find myself unable to sleep, lying awake into the early hours worrying about my financial future and what gives for 2005.

np: Juliana Hatfield – What A Life