December 13 (Monday): I wake up with a headache. I feel somewhat better today about things and today is the first clear day I have had since I got shafted by BS to actually get some stuff done. And the intention is to have a day of writing. This however gets interrupted by a repeat of Chancers on Channel Four but aside from that, I actually manage to really get into writing and actually getting some done.

I find myself, yet again, another bear with a sore head this morning until Azmei texts me with “Merry Christmas”. My first seasons greetings of the year (perhaps) and they come from a Muslim. That’s the magic of Christmas!

I potter about on the PC all morning, attempting to write, attempting to find a job online, attempting to find a life.

For a third day I continue to hassle Haslett (Sara). I really promised myself that I wouldn’t but now my mood has swung somewhat, I’m now semi intrigued at finding out what on earth happened and fully interested in attempted to blag some money (reparation) back from her.

I attempt calling her and now suddenly her phone is finally ringing again. At 2.38PM, on a fourth attempt of the latest set of rings, she answers and snaps wearily “what?”. Stunned by the response (and the bint actually fucking answering the phone in the first place) I go “what’s up?” and she goes, whispering, “I can’t talk right now, family stuff”. I shake my head in further disbelief, speechless. She adds “I’ll call you later when I can talk” and I go “yeah do, you're making me act lairy”. And the call ends, about ten seconds in length. I think that was perhaps the first time I had spoken to her on the phone and she wasn’t fucking pissed. I immediately know/realise she ain’t phoning me back but at least it feels like some kind of minimal closure to at least touched base with her.

In late afternoon I begin watching Tape on DVD. I have had this knocking about for months and finally I am getting around to watching it, which kind of shows my enthusiasm for watching it. Its very wordy and really not the sort of thing I am into this evening. It sends me to sleep.

The rest of the day flies by relatively eventless and in the evening there is (for some reason) a really great programme about Richard Linklater on Channel Four. And it doesn’t even get ruined by a real tool presenting the show. Its interesting to see the star from Dazed And Confused has chubbed up and turned his back on the movie world. Still, he was the main guy in Waking Life having the dream. He sits being interviewed and I notice he is wearing a Blogger t-shirt. I must have one of those.

After that, I get into some MSN with Marceline as we discuss the end of year poll on Diskant for music and movies. Its all good.

Mum bravely phones again tonight and things are a bit better tonight and I feel apologetic and bad, trying everything I have to convince her that I am all right.

Richard gets me again on MSN and asks me if I want to meet him in London tomorrow because he has tickets to see Alan Moore interview Brian Eno. That actually sounds really really cool but tomorrow I have to sign on at the Job Centre. I tell him I’ll see what I can do.

Once again at the dead night, for a second night running I am wide eyed into the early hours and tonight I happen across a documentary on BBC1 where they are analysing Ron Atkinson and his comments and questioning whether he is racist. I wouldn’t have chosen to watch this programme and it turns out to be the sort of nonsense you would expect as crazy liberals make mountains out of molehills and condemn Atkinson as being a worse person than he is, which is a fucking stupid big gob bastard. Sticks and stones and all that, get over it, the man is now next to unemployable, I think he has suffered enough punishment in lost earnings without actually harming anybody in the process..

np: Donovan - Colors